Automatic Mom

It’s strange I can remember moving out for 30 days when I was living with Rick before we got married but I can’t really remember moving back in. It was approximately the later part of 1988 or early 89. Mother had progressed enough with her health after having her second cancer diagnosis and treatments. When Rick and I decided to move into a larger apartment mother decided she was ready to be back on her own. We got her an apartment back in Rockmart. She was so excited to be able to have her independence back.

In a previous blog I wrote about how I took time to live on my own when we were making this transition to a new place. It was pretty interesting for those 30 days. This is detailed in a previous blog. But now let’s look at what came after. Now Rick not only had his oldest son living with us but his middle son was too. I loved kids so I was ok with us being all together.

Alan was in high school now and Brandon was in the third or fourth grade. Rick was nine years my senior and had started his family at an early age when he was married to Katie his ex. Rick and my relationship was fairly new. We had met in fall of 1987 and he moved in with mother and I soon after. He had Alan from the beginning. Alan was an easy going young man. He was very sweet and it was easy being a mother figure to him. Now Brandon was a different story. He was Rick and Katie’s middle child. He was very high strung, loud and difficult at times. Here I was with a ready made family at 23.

Wow, as I wrote this it is kinda unbelievable that I was taking on this level of responsibility at such a young age but it had been the theme of my life. Looking back now I am just really trying to analyze why I was so ready to move into this much of responsibility. I know Rick was a wonderful man. I was deeply in love with him. He gave me a sense of security that I had never had in my life. In many ways he took on a father role for me one that I really never had growing up.

You know I could second guess everything now looking back but remember now I know that I had set up certain scenarios before coming into this lifetime. So this was my chosen path. I lived through some very stressful and overly responsible times. Having Brandon in my life was definitely a lesson in learning to deal with adversity. Please don’t misunderstand me. I loved him and he grew to love me dearly but we had some tough years.