Family Healed

Recently, I have been gathering pictures and posting them on my Facebook wall of my family members. I started posting older pictures of my grandparents a few days ago after meeting with my cousins to go through some older family photos. I also posted pictures of my mom and dad.

Tonight I have been gathering pictures of my siblings on my dad’s side and other family members from my dad’s side of the family. I have a little bit of a sadness but also a strange feeling. You know if you have read my blogs that my mom and dad were not married.

I was conceived while my father was separated from his first wife and my mom had recently lost her first husband. My mom and dad never married. He eventually went back to his first wife but during their separation my father not only had fathered a child with his wife and my mom, he fathered two other daughters with two separate women. I did not learn of this till much later in my life. So in the fall/winter of 1965 my dad became the father of 4 beautiful baby girls.

I have all throughout the majority of my life felt embarrassed that I did not come from a married couple. I wasn’t given my dad’s name of Fincher at birth. I was given my mom’s married name. So all of my life I let that silly fact hang over me like a dark cloud.

My mom always told me who my father was but he wasn’t ever in my life very long. Just for several short time periods. I never even saw my dad till I was 18 years of age and I found where he lived and knocked on his door. I knew I was at the right place when I pulled up. My sister, Lesa was playing in the yard and she favored me at that age.

I am trying to see where this post is going tonight. I am writing one of my blogs for my future book about my life. My reason for sharing my life story is to help others by sharing my life lessons. Tonight I feel this is a inner child issue and shadow that is coming forth to finally be cleared.

This little girl needed her dad all her life. She needed to know a sense of safety. She needed to know that she was a part of his children. My aunts and uncles later in my life always made me feel welcomed on dad’s side but unfortunately my dad wasn’t ever able to bring me into union with all my siblings. Just the ones that he was married to their mom at the time I first met him face to face.

I have always dreamed of bringing all my siblings together in one location for one large gathering. How I would love a picture of us all. There are quite a few of us. There were 3 born before me to his first wife and several after. Then my father married his second wife and had 4 children. In between all of the children my dad fathered other children with many different women. I honestly have no idea how many siblings I truly have.

I loved my dad dearly and after I met him he was there for me one major time that I needed him when my first husband was terminal with cancer, dad would come and sit with Rick on the porch and help me get him to church on Sunday.

So many emotions tonight but I am feeling them and releasing them. It’s time to completely let go of my feelings of embarrassment because I have nothing to be embarrassed for. That mind of a child is gone. The little girl that just needed to be acknowledged as Wendy Adele Fincher and be loved by all her siblings not just those on her mom’s side has had times of speaking with a few of my siblings and healing that void. For those that I have not, I offer up that sadness and lack of connection to be healed. I am no longer holding onto those feelings of disconnection. I now know this was all a life lesson I set up before hand.

We are never alone or separated because we are all One. Ultimately, this has been a lesson of unconditional love and we always have that no matter what because we are LOVE.

I LOVE YOU,

WENDY