IN A RUSH IN THE WRONG DIRECTION (with an empty tank)

Hurry, hurry, hurry. That was my inner voice back then in 1988, 89. It was like I need to get the promotion at work, I need to get married, I need to have a big expensive house etc. I was 23, 24 years of age. I thought success was about position & things; the material.

I grew up poor in government subsidized housing with my mother and grandmother. No father in my life or any male roll models much. I don’t recall my mother ever talking to me about how to grow up and be happy and successful. She told me about her growing up in church, and all of the heartaches she had suffered but she never gave me direction to find a better path for myself.

After an interaction with one of my friends on Facebook today about how their beliefs and mine are very different, I am reminded of the fact that another person can only meet you to the level of their own understanding. My mother didn’t have any advice to give me because she had not found the answers for herself.

Looking back at my 23, 24 year old self, if I had awareness at this point in my life I would have been focused on understanding who I was and what my calling was in this life not on material things, or position, or taking on responsibilities that I had no well to draw from to fulfill them. I was headed for some serious life lessons as Rick, the boys and I were beginning our journey together. But isn’t that what I arranged before hand!!!