The Bright Yellow Bike

I have taken a little time away from my writing the last few days. I just needed a little break. I have already told you about me going to therapy to help me deal with my childhood memories. Well, that was back in 1993. It's strange how going back now over my memories for this book, things seem so different now. I recall when I was in Therapy there was a few times I changed my appointments to avoid feeling the pain of my childhood. Now, there really isn't pain but a resolve of how truly blessed that I am where I am today mentally and physically.

I think about my mother's life and how she never seemed to be able to find lasting love and contentment. I have been blessed to have found it and lost it. Then found it again and things unfortunately didn't work out after 15.5 years of marriage. I am not sad now about the time I spent in that marriage because I learned so much about myself, life, love, sickness, serving God, and so much more. It's been over 4 years. This mind set didn't come all at once it was a process.

Forgiveness is so important in life. Forgive others and forgive yourself. Look at the situations and say ok God what can I learn from this experience? I feel like I have lived so many experiences thus far that when you really think about it, God's grace and goodness is truly an AMAZING gift.

We left off in my life when I was in fourth grade. My mother recovering from another suicide attempt, her last one praise God. We had to move from this apartment because of the events that transpired with mother. The next home I remember was not far from this duplex. It was another duplex and I had some really good memories here.

Not sure why but when we moved in we didn't have a stove or maybe we had one but no gas at that time. Mother had to use a little toaster over to fix our meals. I recall her making us the best tomato biscuits in that little oven. Have you ever heard of someone cooking the tomatoes in the biscuits? She used can tomatoes and some of the juice. They were delicious. I don't know if my mom made the recipe up or where she got it. I have asked others and everyone I asked has never heard of these.

Our little duplex had a large bathroom at the back. It was so large mother let me make a playhouse in there. It had exposed beams and I hung sheets to make my playhouse. Looking back this is where mother and I did a lot of healing the past. I was only 10 and in 5th grade but I had already lived a ton. I made Barbie doll clothes and played house and played with my Barbies all the time in my little playhouse.

We only had one bedroom so mother and I slept together. This is where we started our tradition of bedtime stories. I would ask mother about her childhood, her life story, about other relatives. I guess you can say this is where my gift of being a talker and a good story teller began. Like my grandfather before me, I was to be the one who told others about our family history.

My brother, Jimmy made me my first bicycle when I lived here. He built it from old bike parts. He had a ten speed but he made me the most beautiful bike. He painted it a bright yellow. He bought me the most beautiful banana shaped seat with assorted colorful flowers on it. I thought I had the most beautiful bike. I asked him one time if he remembered it. He didn't. I thought that was kinda ironic because it was the BEST gift I had gotten up to that point in my life. This was the beginning of some wonderful memories that always involved my brother Jimmy. Even to this day we are very close. He is one of my all time lifelong blessings!

I have this picture of me on my yellow bike. I was wearing a bathsuit and sitting on my bike in front of our apartment and Jimmy had his ten speed white bike. I think we had been to the city pool that day. Mother is sitting at the steps in the blue shirt. My grandmother, Sarah Holland is behind mother. The next door neighbor was on the swing and some other neighbors, the Millholland's also were on the other side. Such a good memory today.