THE DAY MOTHER WENT HOME TWICE

Back in April of 1997, my sister Kathy and brother Jimmy shared a house together with their families in Silver Creek not far from my house in Rome. Mother had been staying with them since after my move to Nashville. Mother was coming home from the hospital. It was April 30.

They called to let me know mother was coming home with hospice. I talked to Rick and he was up for going over for a short visit. I had not seen mother since he had left the hospital. I remember getting him comfortable laying on my sister’s bed so I could have some time with mother.

As the ambulance drivers were bringing mother in the house she was carrying on a conversation with them. Mother never met a stranger and always was very talkative with people around her in these type of public situations. They got mother settled in the hospital bed there in the living area in the downstairs den.

Well it couldn’t have been 10 minutes it seemed like and mothers’ breathing was labored. I am trying to remember exactly who all was there but for the life of me I can’t. I can only remember it was family and not sure if the hospice nurse was there but surely she was. I just remember Rick is laying in the next room resting and his health is very similar to mothers’. Mother lifted her arms straight up in the air and took her last breath in that body.

I honestly don’t remember how I told Rick she was gone but I did. I can’t remember his reaction either. I wouldn’t mourn mother’s death for some 9 years later. I just couldn’t at that time let myself feel the immense loss because I knew I had to be strong for Rick’s care.

I can recall some 9 years later attending a friend’s mother’s funeral and when I saw her at the viewing it was as if I was seeing mother there. There was some tough days but nothing like those I have experienced dealing with the loss of Rick and pushing it deep down and not truly processing it till recently.

Of all the hard times I had with my life with mother, I felt truly blessed that after her first initial cancer diagnosis in 1985, we had gotten things straight between us and mother made a big change in her life. She no longer drink alcohol and we had some good 12 years together before she had the cancer come back.

Today, I can smile and recall so many lessons that I learned through my life with mother. I can look back now after doing my review to gather my thoughts since I have been writing my blogs for my book and see mother had a tough life but she did make the best of it she could with how things went with her health. Janie Charlene Holland Shanks born May 16, 1931 and changed her home address on April 30, 1997. I love you mother.