The Decision that Changed Me Forever

Looking back, I know that my family and myself did what we thought was best. I of course wasn't really capable of making a decision on what was best because I was just a kid who had gotten into places I should never have been. I think back about my mother and her life and how she raised me. You know she really probably did the best she could under her circumstances.

They say history repeats itself unless we break the cycle. My mother was the youngest of her siblings. I am the youngest of her children. She got pregnant out of wedlock. I got pregnant out of wedlock. So have many others in my family and everywhere. I know one of the main themes I am doing my best to get across in this book is that having a child and raising them as responsible adults is so very important. I know there are many examples where children are raised with morals and values quite differently than me and they still made mistakes too.

Well, the decision was made to end this pregnancy and I was taken to Atlanta to get an abortion. This is something that took me years and years to forgive myself for even though the instant I asked God for His forgiveness, He forgave me. I have shared my testimony at churches and other group meetings. I know this is a very controversial subject. And I will go more into depth in my second book, Lessons from Lost Loved Ones, about how this affected me throughout my life. I will just say that I do wish I had never had sex so early in my childhood. I do regret having an abortion. I honestly wish I could have given my child up for adoption. I can't go back and change anything now. I can only share my story in hopes it will help others as I am doing.

That was a terrible, terrible day. To the best of my memory, one of my sisters and two of my brothers went with me and mother to Atlanta. I was the youngest one there that day. The waiting area for each of the women having an abortion was full. I was just amazed at the number. I even heard one say this was her third abortion. She was in her 30's if my memory serves me correctly. It was not a big thing to her or so she made it seem. The thoughts about the clinic today just sickens me.

I don't really want to get caught up into an abortion debate here. My goal is that anyone who reads my writings will take to heart the struggles, pain, and challenges I have faced as an adult because I believe my mom unfortunately for the various number of different reasons didn't teach me things I should have been taught, as well as, my dad. My secondary goal of course is that no matter the challenges we face in life we can still overcome those, be forgiving, be loving, and hopefully work to make the world a better place.