The Pink Garage Apartment

Well, I not only remember my terrible toothache at the pink garage apartment in Cartersville but I recall being very upset that I had been put in a 2nd grade class for slower children at the elementary school in Cartersville. I began to notice all our work was so easy for me. It seemed like there were actually something wrong with the children in my class. No one wanted to play with any of us on recess. The only girl that even played with me was a heavier set girl name Cindy. She was real sweet to me. She had the cutest face, smile, and curls in her hair.

One day as we were talking I remember asking her about 3rd grade and she said we are in 2nd grade. I asked what? I said I am in 3rd grade. Again she responded our class is 2nd grade. I was so upset. When I got home I told my mom. She had to go to the school to find out what the issue was. I remember her telling me that all she was told was they were overcrowded in the 3rd grade so that's the reason I was placed in that class. Of course the next day I was moved to a 3rd grade class. Thinking back on it now, I am like how in the world would this have happened and what would been the consequences if I didn't find out. I know that God had to be with me during this situation for it to be handled so simply. The only thing that I missed was Cindy. Now I didn't see her and I didn't really make any other friends that year.

The next event that is so clear in my mind was the time I left my door key in my desk at school. You see my stepdad took me to school in the mornings but I had to walk home after school. No one was home so I had to have my own key. When I got home that afternoon. I was so upset. I was sleepy and tired. I was afraid to go next door and see if the taxi office could find my stepdad. So I lay down in between the door and the screen door and used my book bag for a pillow and went to sleep. I must have slept all evening till mom or W.C. got home.

You see I had a bad habit that I must of formed during this time or either it was formed much younger when I lived at my Aunt Lucille's. What I would do is come in from school and sleep all evening and get up before mom or W.C. came home. I would stay up till way early in the mornings like 3 or 4am. Then I would go to sleep till time to get up for school. I can remember quietly playing in my room, reading books, or eating grapefruit with sugar on it. Sometimes I would watch TV in the living room quietly. To this day I am truly a night owl. I always wondered why I never got in trouble for doing this. I don't know if mom or W.C. didn't care or if they ever knew.

During our time in Cartersville there were periods my stepdad would leave mother to go be with that same girlfriend. This was always a hard time for us. I remember money being tight and eating meals we wouldn't normally eat. Like the one time we only had cornbread and onion soup. It was so weird to me but after eating it I didn't think it was so bad. I would sleep with my mom during these times. That was definitely a mistake I guess. I had a bad dream one night when W.C. had came back and I went to get in bed with them. I was around 8 years old. I recall waking up and wondering what was going on. I thought my stepdad was hurting mother. She assured me he wasn't. The next thing I remember was waking up and hearing a loud banging noise on the kitchen table. It scared me but I knew then I should stay where I was.

I am pretty sure most readers can figure what was going on without me saying. I just don't understand this as an adult now I would never have put an 8 yr old child in this situation. My mind was already heighten to sexual things and this just added to it. Could my mom not have known better? Were their sexual drives just that they didn't care. There was a time while I was in therapy that I tired to discuss some things with my mom. Like this situation. She always would say she didn't remember it or she didn't know what I was talking about! During my treatment I was actually living in Richmond Hill far away from mom and when we spoke on the phone, I would actually get nauseous when I heard her voice. So I had to take time away from even communicating with her for a while.