UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

I was thinking maybe it would be awesome to share some good memories about Rick and our life together since I have shared so much of the hard stuff. He truly taught me what unconditional love is. I definitely received lots of love from my mother and other family members growing up but the love Rick showed me was the first time I actually recognized unconditional love.

No matter what we went through in our 10 years together, he always continued to show me his love. We had an awesome life. Yes, we had our share of disagreements and difficulties but we never once went to bed mad. There were 2 major times that I disappointed and hurt Rick. He still loved me regardless. He was patient and forgiving.

I always felt that Rick not only was my husband, lover, and best friend but he filled a lot of areas that a father would. Due to my situation with not having my father in my life much, I never really had a father to teach me things a dad does with his daughter. Rick had been married before and started having children at a young age so I believe I benefited from his experience.

Rick lived a lot in his 40 years. I remember him telling me about his childhood growing up in upstate New York. His summers in North Carolina with his maternal grandfather. Having trouble adjusting to moving to Gadsden, Alabama at 15 during the height of desegregation in the schools. His time of doing things that were not so lawful as a teen.

Rick’s own dad died shortly after they moved to Alabama. Looking at it now maybe that’s part of why he was so good at the unconditional love and being a father figure. He had to do that in his own family. He was the eldest of 5 children where I was the youngest of 5 in my mom’s children.

Rick had three children himself from his first marriage. There was Alan, Brandon, and Jamie. Alan was only 8 years younger than me and he was truly a sweet soul. He was loving and affectionate, always had good hugs to give. Brandon was the middle child and even though we went through some different times, he was probably the closest to me during the time Rick was alive. I always did my best to communicate with him and do my best to show him my love. I know now I wasn’t the best stepmom. I was only 22 when they came in my life. Jamie was the youngest and lived with his mom where Alan and eventually Brandon lived with Rick and I. I think it’s awesome now I have a close relationship with Jamie. I don’t see any of them often enough. They all live a distance from me and have their own families. I am extremely proud of all three of them and I know Rick is too!

As I write about unconditional love from Rick, I have so many little memories coming in of things we did together. Rick was the first person to take me to the blue ridge mountains. This is when I learned I get car sick easily. He was so patient with me. He stopped and got me some motion sickness medicine and pretzels and a sprite to help with the nausea. We went to Silver Springs in Ocala, Florida on one of our trips, the Smithsonian in Washington, D. C. on a return trip from upstate N.Y. and once to Hersey, Pennsylvania to the Chocolate factory, the Amish Country too, and there were lots of other places too.

Rick always encouraged me to be the best I could. He was so supportive of my promotions at work and gave up his career to allow me to follow mine. When we had the situation in Nashville with him deciding not to come after we had bought the house, I believe he had one of his premonitions of what was about to happen and he just didn’t know how to tell me.

Life with Rick was such an amazing part of my journey. He really did love, teach, and lead me in astounding ways that I have only recently been able to recognize. He was a super spiritual person. Many may not have known this about him. He was so knowledgeable on many different religions and history. He had himself gone through very dark times in his life. He shared one specific one that really helped me at one point in my journey after he was gone. It was after my injuries from the car wreck where I was hit by a drunk driver. I was out of work just going on disability. I was in an extreme amount of pain. I hadn’t had my back surgery yet and my neck and body felt like they were failing me. I honestly was ready to give up. He had been in this mental place at one time too and shared how he coped. It was one of the most amazing experiences I ever had that day. I was laying in bed contemplating what I could do to end my suffering and this life. I felt the area at my feet on the bed go down. I thought at the time it was my dog, Harley but she was laying next to me. It was like someone was sitting on the bed at my feet. I know without any doubt somehow his soul was able to come to me and call my attention to what he shared with me many years before. This was one of many times since he has made a way to communicate with me.

I now know and understand so much more about this experience. He was me. I was helping myself come back to my senses. Through the fractals of god consciousness we all work together as a beautiful tapestry weaving and flowing in this dream to have these human experiences and lessons. We are all just one beautiful masterpiece of God!

I love you Rick! I am so thankful for my experiences with you! I will continue to remember things you taught me and the unconditional love and share it with others. (this was from one of our trips to Niagara Fall, N.Y. getting ready for the boat ride under the falls)