WAS I READY FOR MARRIAGE WITH RICK

It was the fall of 1989 and it wasn’t long before my little duplex in Rome wasn’t big enough for my growing family. Rick’s middle son, Brandon wanted to come live with us. Rick and his business partners had some larger duplexes they had just finished building in Armuchee.

By this time, mother’s health had improved so much she was ready to get back out on her own again. Rick, myself, Alan, and Brandon moved to a new duplex apartment in Armuchee and mother moved to an apartment in Rockmart near my brother, David.

Sitting here I am scrolling my memories for what came next. There was lots of great times but the thing that really is standing out in my mind was the guilt I began to feel after mother moved to her own place. I keep hearing in my mind that I had abandoned my mother for Rick and his boys. It was a difficult time. I had this uncanny sense that I was responsible for my mother but yet I should have been able to live my own life.

I wanted to get married to Rick and start my life with him and the boys but I kept getting the feeling that I wasn’t ready yet and that mother needed me. There was also two other guys that I still wondered how my feelings for them was, as well as, their feelings for me.

I made the decision that I should actually move back out on my own to explore my feelings to make sure that marrying Rick was truly what I wanted. Rick wasn’t happy about my decision but he supported me and helped me move to my own apartment back in Rockmart.