AFTER A MOUNTAIN TOP EXPERIENCE

Moving into my home on Maple Rd in May of 2017 was such an awesome experience. I was so excited to be back in a house that was mine. It had been 2 years since my divorce and it finally felt like I was back on my life journey moving forward not playing catch up. Little did I know that after a mountain top experience often comes a valley of learning and spiritual growth.

For the second time in my life I was single and starting a new journey in a home on my own. The last time was very different. My mom and first husband had both transitioned to the other side within three months of each other in 1997. This time I had divorced my husband of almost 16 years. I thought I knew so much more this time than back in 1997.

I had no clue that I truly had no clue. But looking back I can laugh and see all the lessons I have learned. I can see I was exactly where I was supposed to be. You are going to have mountain top experiences and valleys of lessons. The important thing is to always be teachable and open to God/Source to hear, see, and feel your way forward in your own journey of life.

As I review my memories and the past, I can clearly see all the wounding, shadows, traumas, and the loops I was continuing to stay stuck in. I did not like or feel comfortable being alone. Being alone forces us to look within. Looking within our own soul is scary, it’s hard work, and our ego, life patterns, and external forces DO NOT want us to do this.

So in the fall of 2017 I stayed stuck and continued to fall captive to my ego, my mind, old patterns, and my wounds, shadows, and traumas. The FEAR and being UNCOMFORTABLE alone drove me to bring chaos and distractions in my reality and focus externally once again. I offered my home to a young lady who had aged out of foster care and needed a “safe” place to live.

I had no clue in my attempts to help someone who had similar life experiences to myself. I was attempting to reparent myself. There was no way I could successfully do that because I had not even recognized I didn’t have the skills or the capacity needed to help myself be whole so how could I help someone else do that which I had not!