FLASHES OF MEMORIES

Today as I tap into my memories of those last months with Rick in the little rental house on Kingston Highway in Rome, Georgia, I just keep getting these flashes of different moments in my mind. It’s not a specific story coming through yet today.

I see the beautiful mahogany wood TV armoire in the living room. It’s a Queen Anne style with beveled mirrors on the doors. I remember when we bought it to go in our new house Rick had built us in 1990. He wasn’t terribly fond of it. But because I really wanted it, Rick said get it. It’s was oversized and very heavy. We originally bought it for our bedroom. At the time we had a large canopy waterbed that was oversized with drawers in the base and mirrors on the canopy. Yeah it was in style then.

I see us in that tiny bathroom and me trying to get Rick in the bathtub and on the stool so I could give him a bath. Rick was a very proud man and allowing me to do things for him that he had always done for himself was very difficult for him. Like allowing me to brush his dentures. He had unfortunately lost most of his teeth at an early age because of some type of medication he had to take as a child that caused them to decay prematurely.

I remember the first time I even realized he had dentures. He was in our bathroom at the 2nd apartment we lived in together with Alan and Brandon in Armuchee, Ga. and I started to go in and he pushed the door back closed fast and it hit my face. He had kept it from me for years. He didn’t want me to see him without them in. He was young still and it was that pride thing.

I see the puppies being born in the small laundry area. Brandon had a mini Doberman pincher dog and we had mated it with a full blooded male to get puppies to sell. I don’t even remember the details of Rick agreeing to allow Brandon to do this but it was the first experience for me. Rick couldn’t get up out of the recliner to check on Pearl Jam, the mother, yes you know Brandon named her. He just walked us through the process. I remember Rick being so calm but I definitely wasn’t. Rick had always been the main caregiver for our dogs.

We had a poodle, Harley that Rick had bought me for a Christmas present after our first big move to Savannah after my first management promotion. Brandon had gotten Pearl Jam when we moved back north to Powder Springs. Due to my work schedule and responsibilities at work, Rick had always just took the dogs to the vet or done whatever was needed for their care.

Rick was such a rock for me throughout our life together. In my life before Rick I had really no one to truly depend on for things like he did for me. I was very independent but my life with Rick was very different. He gave me stability, support, and took care of so many things. It was a comfort and peace I have not found again in another in my life yet.

We had so many different conversations where he would teach me things. Lessons he had learned in his life that I needed to know about. One such one is coming forth now. It relates back to the things I mentioned earlier about the pride issues with Rick. It was getting real close to when Rick really stopped talking near the end.

Rick had been upset you might recall from a previous blog about not having his cane so he could walk down front in the church. Rick talked to me after that. He said you know Wendy, if my life might have a main lesson, I want you to share this with others, it would be on the subject of PRIDE. He said tell others to never have too much pride to not ask for help when they need it or too much pride to not receive help when it’s offered. When we have too much pride, we miss out on the important moments in life.