Forever Changed

Well, it wasn't long before my mom's mother-in-law decided she could no longer leave her remaining 3 grandchildren in this situation. She felt that she must act for her grandchildren's’ safety and took my mom to court and sued for custody of Kathy, David, and Jimmy. My brothers’ and sisters’ grandmother got custody of them but I was left in my mom's custody. There wasn't a Family and Children's Protective Service in the mid 60’s to be notified and remove me from the home. In retrospect, it was a good thing that I wasn't taken away from my mom for her sake.

I did go through a difficult childhood but that is what made me who I am today with the leading and protection of the Holy Spirit. You will see this in my life story. I am going to tell you of a very hard and difficult life that mother and I lived. But with all the hardships, God never left us. He always got us through each event, even though mother had not returned to her faith from a young age and I who did not know Him as my Lord and Savior for many, many, years to come.

Gone with my siblings was there social security checks. Mother did receive widows pension but it wasn't enough to pay the house payment apparently or mother was too depressed to stay in the house without all her children. Despite the fact she wasn't being a good mother at the time. She really did love us all. She was already a heavy drinker before losing her husband so the stress of all the added responsibility caused her to drink more and more. Unfortunately, my mom had no choice but to sell the house and seek refuge elsewhere.

That refuge was her sister's home, Lucille Rolader, her eldest sister. Lucille was married to Garland. They lived in Atlanta with their twelve children. Not all of their children were still home but the majority were. As I write today, I am hit by the fact that my mom must have been haunted by the situation of her losing 3 of her children but had so many of her sister’s children around her. It could have been a blessing and a curse. Having my cousins around probably brought her some joy but it had to bring her sadness too. Even to this day, I have a strong bond with this group of cousins. They are like actual siblings to me.

I know mother was so hurt because we discussed this time period and many others. You see this was kinda my bedtime stories. I would ask mother to tell me about different times in our life and hers. My siblings tell me that I know much more about their younger lives than they can remember.

My mom's world completely changed in a matter of less than a year. Just think about it! She was married with a hard working husband, 4 children, a nice home, and no financial worries. Now, here she is no husband, no home, lost custody of her children, just had a newborn with no financial help from the father, and no financial security.

I was thinking that I was close to the age of two when we went to live with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. As I think about events more specific now, I was much younger. I remember mother talking about me crawling and my cousin Mike teaching me to walk. As I said previously, I have memories back to this time. Not many children can remember things at such an early age, I am told. Two of my cousins were close to my age, Victoria and Ina. I reached out to them both to help me clarify this time, as well as, some of my older cousins. Unfortunately, we lost Mike recently. He was a sweet, loving, and caring man. He was also a very talented musician as are most of my aunt's children. My aunt’s home was to be mother and my home for awhile. (originally published 4/22/19)