THE MOVE TO CAVE SPRING

Mark took the position as Pastor of Grace Fellowship Baptist Church in Cave Spring, Georgia sometime close to 2012. It was his first Pastor position since he had left Corinth Baptist in Shawnee, Ga in 2004. He had held various positions in other churches since resigning Corinth and us returning to Rome. Corinth was his first full time Pastorate. Mark had always said he was an Evangelist not a Pastor. I encouraged him in our early years of marriage to get his Masters in Theology.

We lived in Armuchee when he took the church so it was a good 30 minutes or more drive one way to church. So we put the house on the market and looked for a house in Cave Spring. I remember not long after we had moved into our house in Cave Spring standing on the back porch and looking out over the yard. As plane as day I heard God speak to me. I heard "If things don't change, when you leave this place you will go alone."

I didn't understand what that really meant at the time and truthfully I didn't pay what I heard much attention at the time. Yes, that is sad to say. You see I was still going to pain management and taking medication that I know altered my comprehension and reasoning abilities. I was severely depressed and honestly a very unhappy soul. I was suffering from physical pain that had been diagnosed as fibromyalgia. I know now that I was actually suffering from trapped emotional trauma held within my body.

Mark and I were virtually living as glorified roommates not husband and wife. We slept in separate bedrooms. He rarely if ever kissed me. He definitely did not show me any physical affection. This was the contention of our biggest disagreements. Mark had told me the majority of our marriage that he just didn't have a physical desire to show me affection. It was very difficult hearing that. He said it wasn't me that he had been like that the majority of his life. We later learned of a hormone deficiency that was probably the majority of the reason he was that way.

Mark used the prescription for the hormone for 6 months. He actually lost weight and got off his cholesterol medication too. He was a little better with affection but not enough. I asked him to go to therapy with me and see if we could try to make things better in our marriage. He refused. He didn't think it was needed. I even got a Christian book and workbook that boasted helping couples with our issues. He promised he would read the book and work through the workbook with me but he never did. After 6 months he stopped using the hormone prescription.

Our almost 16 years of marriage went by in a blur. I had my accident only 2 months after we were married and I was sick for the duration of our marriage. Looking back hindsight is always 20/20. So many things I could have done differently. Well, life on earth is all about learning lessons and having a human experience. These things I did do.

I look at my marriage to Mark completely different since my awakening then I did before. I believe we set up the major lessons we want to learn before our incarnation for each lifetime. I learned so many lessons during our life as a married couple. These were lessons that would be important for my future mission as a Starseed, healer, and Awakening Activator. Nothing happens by chance in this reality. We are creators and we create our reality each moment.