UNBECOMING

Today I will pick back up in my life story after my divorce in January 2015 and after the failed first post divorce relationship of 8 months with Scott. It has been 9 years and I really have only had a couple of short relationships. I currently have not dated in over 18 months. I finally got the understanding until I am at a certain place of healing it truly isn’t wise to get involved with anyone.

When you are healing from hurt in past relationships and a lifetime of not truly knowing yourself or how to have a healthy relationship it is best to stay single. I know that the biggest reason for the previous relationships not working were because I did not love myself nor did I truly know who Wendy is. I honestly have been working on getting to know my true self since 2019. Unfortunately really unconditionally loving myself has been a hard thing to navigate.

Self love was really difficult after the end of mine and Scott’s relationship. Here I was divorced after almost 16 years and now another failed relationship. I was so depressed. First off I have said before I had no business getting into a new relationship while my marriage had failed. I hadn’t even really understood the full scope of why my marriage had failed at this point.

I sat in my living room for months not sure how to move forward. I started going out with friends and drinking on weekends. I engaged in things that were not good for my self love. I really was lost for a good while just barely treading above water. I finally knew I had to make a change. Financially I had to sell the house. Mark’s name was still on the loan and I couldn’t really afford to refinance it in my name. So I put the house up for sale.

The house sold in 2 short weeks and I found myself needing a place to go. My finances really weren’t quite ready to do a purchase with where I had allowed myself to extend them too much in my attempts to be loved by giving things to Scott or so called helping him with his own finance issues. So I was blessed to rent my brother’s rental house which just happened to become available when I needed it.

I lived in the rental house from the summer of 2016 till April of 2017. My self esteem and depression gradually improved and I stopped going out drinking as much. I still engaged in things that weren’t good for my self love. I can look back now and see I was unbecoming who I thought Wendy was to be able to become my true self. It was definitely a journey of experiences and making mistakes.

Now the move out of the rental house and into my home where I currently live was a big move I know God had arranged. Looking back at how all of it transpired now is such an amazing thing. I can see God’s hand so many times directing my journey forward as I have told my life story. Maybe you might take the time to do this yourself. In my goal of sharing my life’s journey and lessons I have learned I have in turn radically transformed my life.